Ash and You Shall Receive

It's the most wonderful tiiiiiime of the year....



last year's cross

OK, well I get that Ash Wednesday is definitely not as hyped up a holiday as Christmas is, but I actually look forward to this day more than Christmas if you can believe that (probably not). Where the Christmas story is on a sugar high induced by reindeer, glitter, and twinkle lights, Ash Wednesday is very simple, totally straight-forward and with absolutely no bells and whistles whatsoever. In fact, in my opinion Ash Wednesday is basically the holiday equivalent of a smack in the face...or...smudge on the forehead. It is the day that kicks off the season of Lent, a time which is often translated as being: The 40 day New Year's Resolution in which most people "give up" some kind of carbohydrate but mostly just end up giving up on giving something up. Last year I didn't buy food or eat at restaurants for the entire season of Lent (I even created a blog called "The Lent(il) Project" to chronicle that experience, which you can feel free to read). I ate only from my fridge, freezer, and pantry for 40 days. I didn't actually get around to finishing that blog, but I did learn how to make my own yogurt and get incredibly inventive with beans.

The contents of my pantry from last year's Lent(il) Project, which includes 10 lbs of beans

This year's Ash Wednesday started out very differently from the previous year. For one thing, I was up at 4AM struggling to throw on gym clothes (which is quite the challenge when you're working off of six hours of sleep) so that I could attend 5AM Spin. For another, I may or may not have engaged in a heated conversation with the lady at the front desk before said 5AM Spin class. I won't hash out the details but suffice it to say that never in my entire life did I ever think that some day I would vehemently dialogue with another person over a sign-in sheet for a 5AM Spin Class... Anyway, I went to class with quite a bit more un-Christ-like aggression to burn than is normal for me. Once Spin ended, I had to book it back home in order to clean up before mass started.

In the Lent(il) Project, I describe, in great detail, my history with Ash Wednesday services. I started going to them because I needed chapel credit for college but ended up really enjoying the liturgy (especially in the reverend's Irish accent which, let's face it, could make a reading from my car's owner's manual sound sexy). When I moved back to NJ after school, I actually attended two masses on Ash Wednesday: one from the Catholic church and one from the Episcopalian church near Jersey Fitness. I wish that I could tell you I did this out of some deeper yearning for greater spiritual truth. But the fact is, I went to the Episcopalian service because when I was calling around for Ash Wednesday service times, the church secretary said, "The homily is at 9:30 and there will be a coffee and hot cross bun reception once the service is over". Needless to say, she had me at "hot cross bun reception".  Once the Catholic service ended, I booked it across town to St. Peter's quicker than you can say a Hail Mary. I have no doubt that while I wiped off my Catholic ashes, a little piece of my dignity went with them. This year, my eyes are definitely on the prize of getting to my goal weight, but there is a non-negotiable Hot Cross Bun/Good Friday Cannoli Clause built into my weight-loss contract. This clause allows for the consumption of baked goods for religious purposes (I'm sure it's in the Bible somewhere). Had cannoli been around in the time of King David, I have no doubt there would be a whole slew of psalms devoted to thanking God for them.

a very religious experience...

This year's Ash Wednesday service was everything I'd hoped it would be. Thankfully I was not bawled out by one of the parishioners (who looks exactly like my Aunt Lori) for accidentally not eating the Communion wafer in front of the Crucifix (a mistake you do not repeat twice in the Catholic Church). I also managed to avoid getting the squeaky knee rest (unlike my across-the-pew neighbor. Rookie mistake, succccckkkkaaa!). Also, the priest had a fantastically thick Spanish accent in addition to a quirky sense of humor. I found it quite charming to be asked, "How many of j'ou gonna geev up the con-dees and thee shoo-gar for Lent, ah? Do j'ou theenk God wants the con-dees...or...(long dramatic pause) j'our heaaaart?" I'm serious, accents just make the mass for me. The priest asked us to really think about what we intended to give up for Lent. It made me pause to consider something my friend Heidi said about not necessarily losing something for Lent (because at this point I've already lost two happy knee caps, weight, a social life, and 90% of my clothing to Jersey Fitness alone) but perhaps adding something; for example, adding a special time to pray, have devotions, quiet time, etc. I thought this was a very thoughtful and brilliant idea, actually.

For whatever reason, I really feel like adding yoga to my morning routine for the forty days of Lent. I should probably point out that I am not a morning person. That I go to 5AM Spin at all says more about Chrissy's teaching abilities than my self-discipline. I love to sleep more than I love eating, dancing in Zumba, watching Korean dramas, riding on hayrides, and shopping at farmer's markets...combined. Also, I'm not really a yoga person, either. If you re-read my post entitled "Yoga: A History" you will learn that I am not terribly coordinated and will more than likely tip over. A lot. It is because of my propensity to fall that makes me give Chrissy the stink eye whenever she has us "warm up" in kickboxing by balancing our bodies over one foot. In short, I really have zero desire whatsoever to get up early in the morning and do yoga. And yet, it is because this practice is outside of my comfort zone that I am drawn to pursue it. My life is fairly busy and I don't often get the opportunity to concentrate on the understated value of just breathing. For me, this is not about losing weight, it's not about pushing the limits of my body, it's about acquiring balance both spiritually and physically (I better rock at lunges by Easter Sunday). Now, so as to not totally wipe myself out, on the Tuesdays and Thursdays that I might attend 5AM Spin, I will opt to do yoga at night with the super amazing, indescribable, spandex-clad, foot tatted, Jim. I cannot wait to hear him say hip op'ner for the first time...it will be magical, I know it.

Happy Ash Wednesday, everyone!