Everything Was Beautiful And Nothing Hurt

The title of today's blog is a quote from Slaughterhouse Five. I'm not even going to pretend like I've read anything from Kurt Vonnegut except for maybe a couple of short stories. The only reason I know this quote at all is because my brother Beriah has it tattooed on his arm. I think (and Beriah may or may not cringe at this) it's an ironic statement about war. For whatever reason, as I was running the fields and wooded area of the Turkey Trot Run this morning, I kept hearing this quote whenever I asked myself, "How do I feel right now?" Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. And there was absolutely nothing ironic about this statement at all.

I had pretty much no desire to do the run today. I'll be perfectly honest and say that I haven't yet actually looked forward to any of the 5Ks that I've done. I'm glad I participate in them, happy to contribute to such worthy causes, and I'm always ecstatic to cross the finish line; however, getting there is always this mental battle between willpower and personal desire. The fact is, running and I just aren't besties yet. We hang out with the same crowd of friends but we've never really hit it off. To make matters worse, the weather this morning was particularly windy and cold. I walked out of the house, got smacked in the face by a gust of ice, and thought to myself, "Dear God in Heaven, I really don't want to do this at all". Had Jensen been there, I would have handed over a dollar for speaking such a negative thought out loud. But for whatever reason, I got in the Buick and made my way over to Warner Rd.

When I arrived at the DiGregorio farm I was comforted by the sight of the familiar faces of my friends from the gym and some from church.When I spotted my cousin Kelly I joked with her that it wasn't too late for us to skip out and grab breakfast instead. And by 'joke' I mean that I would have seriously sprinted to my Buick and booked it to the Woodstown Diner had she said yes. Unfortunately (or fortunately) Kelly's willpower happens to be in a much better, stronger place than mine was and I felt mildly ashamed for having made the suggestion. Needless to say, I stayed put and tried not to dwell on the sound of the wind howling around us.

Me and my cousin Kelly

I will give two pieces of pre-run advice to any potential 5Kers. First, don't arrive too early to your race. I arrived an hour early to my very first 5K and it was too much time for my brain and emotions to dwell on every potential problem that could arise during the run. Today, I arrived at the Turkey Trot Run about 20 minutes before it began and found that to be the perfect amount of time to get registered, pin my number on, and warm up a bit.  Secondly, I don't recommend looking at the Google map of your 5K trail before your race. The map of today's 5K was printed out on four different pages (as opposed to the one page printout of the stroller trail) with, like, forested areas and bodies of water. For a brief moment I thought I had signed onto the Oregon Trail.

Me and Kristen (slightly bitter that she has a Jersey Fitness shirt)

I was very fortunate that my friend Renee decided to jog this 5K with me. When the race got started and everyone took off, Renee and I kept this perfect little clip from start to finish. We didn't really converse much, but we somehow managed to maintain the same pace. The trail, by the way, was unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I've run on treadmills, I've run around Marlton Park and it's adjoining neighborhood, and I've run the big loop around around Riverview Beach Park. I have never run up and down hills, across fields, and down steep bends through the woods. The Google map trail didn't exactly convey all of this pertinent information. I didn't know how my body was going to cope with all of this newness, either. It's been about 3 or 4 weeks since my last 5K at the Riverview. Since that run I've been focusing all of my energy on attending gym classes and have all but neglected running. But here's the crazy thing: my body just kind of went with it. I wouldn't say I experienced the mythical runner's high during this 5K, but I definitely had a moment there where I actually enjoyed myself. The wind was still blowing, the hills were still steep, and there was no Chrissy running ahead in the distance and waving back at me. But in my mind, where the true race lies, all I could think was, "How do I feel right now?....Hmm. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts".

Me and Renee, my awesome running partner

I think that what sets running apart from all other exercise for me is the fact that I can actually track how much I have progressed. It's harder to tell with the classes because...well...my instructor is Chrissy. Her classes are challenging regardless of whether you're 100 lbs overweight or training for a marathon. I mean, I'm sure I'm in a better place than where I was 10 months ago but because everything happens so gradually, it's hard to pinpoint the exact changes unless I consult Chrissy (practically nothing escapes her attention). Running, however, is a completely different situation. I can re-read my post from August, when I just started the Couch to 5K program and was running three and five minute intervals. Two months ago, almost to the day, I took this picture (see below) of the moment when I ran for 20 minutes in a row for the first time in my life. And now, even after slacking off for nearly a month, I am still capable of running up and down hills and through fields and forests.

As bizarre as this is for me to admit on here, I've had the same recurring skinny girl fantasy since high school. For some Big Girls it's walking out onto the beach in a bikini or showing up to their high school reunion in a smokin' hot dress. Mine is this: A leaner, healthy version of myself running along the rural back roads of Salem County. Whenever I drive past all the long stretches of grassy farmland, I can see that figure running along, sometimes in the fields, and sometimes to "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World.  And for the longest time, I never understood why that kept popping up in my head. I mean, it made no sense to me in high school when I had nothing but disdain for running and it makes no sense to me now when I'd much rather use my good health for booty popping. But, for better or worse, today I was that image (the heavier, slower, frazzled version that clopped along to "Gasolina"). And I can't help but wonder if she wasn't waiting for me to catch up to her the whole time.

Gym Peeps